A Picture is Worth 1000 words – how to write a comic script that your artist can use Part 2

In the previous part, we dissected the comic script to the base components required for each member of the creative team to extract the relevant information to do their part. There were also some panels and script excerpts from a comic I have worked on to exemplify this. But as I stated in the first part, there is no right way to write a comic script. And to prove it, we will delve into the scripts of some of the industry’s biggest names to see what makes them different and why that works for them. So who are we going to be looking at? Read on to find out!

First of all, the scripts on show here are all available on comicsexperience.com so please check them out for if you want to take your research further as there are nearly 50 writers to look into in their archive. Secondly, if you haven’t read any of these comics, you should definitely go out and buy their books. I will also only be showing a single page of the actual comic like I have done in other articles like “The Art of Dialogue, Depicting dialogue in comics” even though there might more script.

So without further ado, the writers we are going to be examining are…

Brian K Vaughan

Neil Gaiman

Grant Morrison

Alan Moore

The art isn’t that important as we will be focussing on the scripts, but it’s always good to see the finished product alongside it.

So let’s begin with arguably my favourite writer, Brian K Vaughan. Although The Sandman is perhaps my favourite comic of all time, Vaughan consistently creates interesting and varied stories which never fail to grab me. So to begin, here’s the first page from his comic Y: The Last Man #18

NOTE – I took a screenshot of the script to preserve the format

***

So first off Vaughan puts up a nice heading stating the issue title, number, publisher and date. Next, we become aware of the spacing and the format. Each new panel is headed with a basic page+panel in bold with the panel description indented on the first line. Following TV scripts, the names of characters’ are in all caps the first time they appear. What I find most interesting here is that the dialogue is numbered continuously over the page, reverting back to “1” on page 2 after a page break. The order you read the dialogue in the script always denotes who speaks first and gives a general idea of where that speech bubble will need to be placed within each panel. Therefore, the reason for numbering the dialogue (especially over multiple panels) isn’t immediately obvious. Perhaps it is to keep track of the overall number of speech bubbles per page? Your guess is as good as mine, let me know if you have your own theory about it.

In terms of voice, there is little. When we do get some, it remains strictly cordoned off inside brackets to ensure it does not interfere with the panel description. The only time we get a sense of conversation in the script is when he puts a note in italics to the editor asking about the legalities of an image.

Overall, we can see Vaughan has a tightly controlled script with rigid formatting. On the other side of that spectrum we have the opening page from Gaiman’s The Sandman #18

***

Well, hi Kelley, Malcolm, Todd, Steve, Tom, Karen…
Here we are at the third part of Season of Mists. We last saw the Sandman watching Lucifer walking away into the mists, having been given the key to Hell. This episode begins a few hours later.
Now, the last issue was pretty low on characters – it was basically just Lucifer and the Sandman, with a couple of cameos. This issue has a cast of thousands. Well, hundreds. Well, lots.
We’ve got Odin and Loki and Thor. I’ve done sketches of Odin and Loki, basing them on the Norse myths. What is strange about Odin Is how much he looks like Lee Van Cleef, only taller and paler: Floppy wide awake hat, short gray beard, one eye (the missing eye shadowed by the hat brim), thin face, scraggly gray hair at the back; he wears a long gray cloak that covers most of him: two ghostly wolves pad around his feet, two spectral ravens hover on each shoulder.
Loki’s a fire god, eyes wide and huge and slanting up, inhumanly, lips crooked and scarred from where they were once sewn together.
Thor is huge and has a tangled red beard, wide, bulging eyes, long red tangled unkempt hair, and a small piece of rock embedded In his forehead.
We’ll have a Lord of Order (a cardboard box) and a Lord of Chaos (Probably a little girl in a clown suit, but I haven’t made up My mind yet).
We’ll have demons (led by Azazel); we’ll have gods from some other pantheons (Egyptian, maybe Japanese). We’ll have a small Contingent of Faerie P their interest is in not allowing anyone to take Hell (to which they tithe) to be re-opened.
This is all going to make it something of a nightmare, I’m afraid, in terms of how many people there will be running through this.
I think all we will do in this issue is set up the problem. Then we’ll mention that, on Earth, the dead are coming back.
[Section discussing next few issues cut here. ng]
Bugger. I’ve just spent half a day trying to plan out this issue, And I can’t get it to fly, so I’ll just start writing and see where it takes me…It’s a bit like jumping out of a plane and hoping you’ll find a parachute on the way down….
(Later: well, I’ve just thrown away three pages of a first draft And two pages of the second. Let’s see how well this version works…)
*******
Page 1 panel 1
A long panel down the left-hand side of the page. Okay, Kelley, now get whatever reference you think you’ll need for this – it’s as if we’re in ninth century Norway, or at least, the ninth century Norwegian idea of what a great palace would be. So the hall is built of woven rushes – no windows, smoky. Forget all the Kirbyish SF stuff: this is dirty and primitive and old- fashioned: almost no metals, just wood and stuff. The floor is mud, strewn with rushes. Odin sits in his chair. At his feet sit two huge gray wolves, sprawled one on each side of him, huge green wolf eyes staring straight at us. Odin sits on a huge wooden chair, sitting staring at us through his one good eye. He Is bare-headed. He has gray hair, thinning, shoulder-length, and a short gray beard-and-moustache. In his left hand he holds a goblet – made of gold, ornamented with jewels. The room is dark and gloomy and muddy. Odin wears a simple leather jerkin; it goes down to his knees and is drawn in at the waist by a heavy leather belt; his legs are covered by cloth leggings, crisscrossed by leather thongs running all the way up his legs. (Check out any good reference on the Vikings.) Odin’s face is long and thin and drawn. He doesn’t look like a nice man – he looks dangerous,
Like an aging hired killer, his one good eye cruel and nasty. You may want to keep his face fairly shadowy here, so that all we can see is one glowing eye. Steve – get as far from the brightly coloured Kirby Asgard as you can here: this is the Asgard of the Old Norse, a bitter, dangerous place, in which all is dull gray and brown, alleviated occasionally by a glint of gold. Odin’s right eye is missing – the eye on the left-hand side of his head, as we look at it.
Cap (Todd pick a lettering style – something nice and Copperplate, like your ‘To be Continued’ style, for the ‘Location’ captions in this issue): Asgard.
Cap (normal): in the High Hall of Gladsheim the Lord of the Aesir sits and waits for thought and memory to return to him.
Cap: at his feet two wolves attend him.
Cap: lacking thought and memory, he could not even name them. The floor of the high hall is mud, scattered with rushes.
Cap: he sits and waits, the gallows-god, the one-eyed king of Asgard.
Page 1 panel 2
Do these panels on the right-hand side of the page, one beneath the next. Okay – a head and shoulders shot of Odin. He’s looking straight out at us: on each side of him, two huge ravens fluttering down toward him. Now, Odin’s ravens should be done on overlay, Kelley, so they’re printed in gray: they’re transparent – you can see through both of them, as they flutter down – one toward one shoulder, one to the other. We can probably see more of Odin’s face here.
Cap: there is a fluttering of wings.
Cap: the ghost-birds return to his shoulder.
Page 1 panel 3
Now we move in for a close-up on Odin’s face – he’s off at an angle, looking off to the side. He’s smiling, a thin and chilly smile, not friendly, more to do with what he’s thinking about than with anything funny. Possibly we can see a ragged gray transparent raven on his shoulder next to us, whispering into his ear. He’s holding the goblet.
Cap: and instantly he knows; he knows all they’ve seen.
Cap: Huginn and Muninn: thought and memory.
Cap: and he smiles, the lord of the gallows.
Odin: at last…
Page 1 panel 4
Odin is now in profile, his face facing the right of panel, so His blind eye is the only one that we can see: he’s drinking from the jeweled goblet we saw earlier – possibly a trickle of the wine is dripping into his beard or out of his mouth. I do not believe the Norse were particularly fastidious eaters. Incidentally, Odin doesn’t have an eye-patch: what he has is a scarred hole in his head, where an eye used to be. You may want to check this out medically to find out what an eye scar looks like. When he stands up he’s about 6′ 5″.
Cap: the mead he drinks is not the mead of the Aesir. It is his mead, brewed by dwarfs from dead Kvasir’s blood; a draught of liquid verse and madness.
Cap: it is the mead of Odin, the all-father, and none but Odin may drink of it.
Page 1 panel 5
Pull back. Odin has stood up and with one hand he is pulling on an old cloak – nothing fancy, an old gray cloak that covers his whole body. The two ravens have faded away completely now, or, if you do them, are just the faintest of light gray impressions, on overlay. He has turned away from us. He has put the goblet down on a table. He is holding a large floppy, wide-brimmed hat, like the shadow’s, or like a battered old cowboy hat, only less impressive than either. He is fading away, feet first, so from about half-way down he’s almost transparent.
Cap: he drains the goblet. And he is gone.

***

OK, wow. So unlike Vaughan, who dives straight into the script, Gaiman has written a letter to his team. This is why I love Gaiman’s scripts almost as much as the comics themselves. There is a real sense of conversation here. Casually he lays out the story, discusses characters and even offers some personal insight to how he views the previous issue. What I love is the final notes though, edits added without deleting the original text of the letter, thus creating a personal insight into Gaiman’s headspace as he writes but also giving you a sense of who he is as a person. Throughout the script, Gaiman’s voice is clear in several panel descriptions and it creates a more personal script, more so than most others I’ve read.

But onto the script itself. The first panel is an excellent example of how Gaiman operates; despite the grandiose narration and dialogue Sandman carried, behind the scenes, Gaiman uses very colloquial language like “Forget all the Kirbyish SF stuff” in his panel descriptions. In terms of format it is also different to Vaughan, there are no page breaks to denote pages of the actual comic itself, there are no indentations and no uses of bold or italic in sight. There isn’t even an alternate spacing between panels or pages. If I were an artist, I would hate the format. It would be difficult to keep track of where I was, and if I had to revisit an earlier panel but not sure which one, it would be a nightmare trying to find it in the stream of consciousness style script without any special indication of page number in the script. What I will note is that Gaiman lays out the panel structure for the page. This allows him to dictate the layout of the page. A fact I found interesting given that Vaughan did not despite the more rigid script format.

So where do we go from Gaiman? The answer lies on my home turf, Scotland, and with occult anarchist Grant Morrison. Here is the second page of the first issue of his wild series, The Invisibles

THE INVISIBLES

EPISODE 1
GRANT MORRISON

1. EXT. COUNTRYSIDE. HARMONY HOUSE. NIGHT

Begin on a photograph of a 15 year old boy – DANE McGOWAN. The sort of
thing mums keep on dressing tables. A man and a woman briefly study the
picture. They look like social workers, dressed in black. The faces are
bland, barely registering. They look almost like clones, ciphers. The
Midwich Cuckoos grown to maturity. The woman slips the photograph into a
black zip up folder and they walk out of shot, so that we’re looking
through the chain link gates at a neo-brutalist reform school/correctional
facility. Neat identifying sign on the gates tells us that this is
HARMONY HOUSE. Faint screaming and sobbing from within.
CREDITS SEQUENCE
2. EXTERIOR. COUNCIL ESTATE. NIGHT

Petrol bomb is lit. Here’s DANE McGOWAN, 15 year old hooligan. Face of an
angel, soul of Beelzebub. He pulls back his arm. Petrol bomb poised to
throw. An image of revolution. Mad joy on his face.

DANE : YAAAAAAAA

He hurls the petrol bomb.

3. INTERIOR. SCHOOL LIBRARY. NIGHT.

Petrol bomb smashes through window, exploding merrily. Liquid flame spills
across the floor. The curtains ignite.

4. EXTERIOR. COUNCIL ESTATE. NIGHT.

Flamelight on the excited faces of Dane and his partners in crime GAZ and
BILLY. Gaz is crop-headed, dumb and always ready for trouble. Billy sports
baseball cap, spots, greasy hair. He’s less sure of himself, more afraid
of being caught. Sound of crackling glass and flames.

GAZ : YES! Nice one, Dane!

Dane, face rapt as a saint’s, pauses for just a moment to admire his work,
then, reluctantly, makes a decision.

DANE (shouts) : RUN FOR IT!

He starts running. Billy’s right behind him. Gaz waits for just a
moment, mesmerised by the flames, then follows. Mad, headlong rush
through the neglected streets. Among the graffiti on the wall, we glimpse
the words ‘KING MOB’. The boys are full of life and vigour. Yelling and
laughing.
DANE (singing) : WE ARE THE BOYS! WE ARE THE BOYS! WE ARE THE
MILTON…

He leaps into the air, triumphantly.

ALL : PO-SSE!

Laughter as they disappear down the street, kicking refuse sacks open.

5. EXTERIOR. COUNCIL ESTATE. NIGHT.

Fire engines and police cars racing down street. Bells ringing, caterwaul
of sirens.

DANE (V.O.) : Check it out.

***

Now one thing that really interests me with this script that you can’t see from the excerpt is the fact there are no pages. If you look at the artwork and the panel, you will notice that panel 1 is not on the page because it actually constitutes page 1. The script is a long list of panels (the archive script concerns the first half of the debut issue but it still goes up to panel 39!) which does something incredible; it gives the artist complete control. Not just over the page layout, but the the number of pages themselves. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised giving the liberal structure the story itself takes. Now, the script and the art don’t match up exactly. The reason for this could be that the script available in the archive is not the final draft, or the artist, having been given control of the panels has even moved dialogue around as they create the page. That in itself would make an interesting process to explore.

Morrison mixes a nice blend of format and personal voice in the script. On one hand, after each panel number Morrison bluntly but effectively dictates the setting, repeating it even when unnecessary in consecutive panels within the same scene. And on the the other hand, his anarchist tendencies come through in his personal voice as he describes a petrol bomb “exploding merrily”.

So in one way he is completely liberal, but other aspects of the script are rigidly set. This only goes to show the various nuances of different writers.

And so from one occult anarchist to another and the moment you’ve been waiting for. In the first part, I made a joke about an Alan Moore script and assured you would get the joke in this part of the article. Well, lastly we have the opening page of Moore’s famous The Killing Joke, Before we go on, please note that there is no dialogue on this page. Now please delve in to the absolute madness that the script provides.

JOKER GRAPHIC NOVEL ALAN MOORE
THE KILLING JOKE (46 PAGES)

PAGE 1
(PANEL) 1.
WELL, I’VE CHECKED THE LANDING GEAR, FASTENED MY SEATBELT, SWALLOWED MY CIGAR IN A SINGLE GULP AND GROUND MY SCOTCH AND SODA OUT IN THE ASTRAY PROVIDED, SO I SUPPOSE WE’RE ALL SET FOR TAKE OFF. BEFORE WE GO SCREECHING OFF INTO THOSE ANGRY CREATIVE SKIES FROM WHICH WE MAY BOTH WELL RETURN AS BLACKENED CINDERS, I SUPPOSE A FEW PRELIMINARY NOTES ARE IN ORDER, SO SIT BACK WHILE I RUN THROUGH THEM WITH ACCOMPANYING HAND MOVEMENTS FROM OUT CHARMING STEWARDESS IN THE CENTRE AISLE.
FIRSTLY, SINCE I’M NOT ENTIRELY SURE HOW THESE GRAPHIC NOVELS ARE SET OUT, MIGHT I SUGGEST THAT IF THERE ARE END-PAPERS OF ANY KIND THEY MIGHT BE DESIGNED SO AS TO FLOW INTO AND OUT OF THE FIRST AND LAST PANELS OF THE STORY. SINCE BOTH THE FIRST AND LAST PANELS CONTAIN A SIMPLE CLOSE-UP IMAGE OF THE SURFACE OF A PUDDLE RIPPLED BY RAIN, THEN MAYBE A SIMPLE ENLARGEMENT OF A BLACK AND WHITE RIPPLE EFFECT TO THE POINT WHERE IT BECOMES HUGE AND ABSTRACT WOULD BE IN ORDER? AS WITH ALL MY VISUAL SUGGESTIONS, BOTH HERE AND IN THE PANEL DESCRIPTIONS BELOW, PLEASE DON’T FEEL BOUND IN BY THEM IN ANYWAY. THEY’RE ONLY MEANT AS WORKABLE SUGGESTIONS, SO IF YOU CAN SEE A BETTER SET OF PICTURES THAN I CAN (WHICH I’D SAY IS QUITE LIKELY, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED) THEN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO THROW OUT WHAT I’VE COME UP WITH AND SUBSTITUTE WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE.
I WANT YOU TO FEEL AS COMFORTABLE AND UNRESTRICTED AS POSSIBLE DURING THE SEVERAL MONTHS OF YOUR BITTERLY BRIEF MORTAL LIFESPAN THAT YOU’LL SPEND WORKING ON THIS JOB, SO JUST LAY BACK AND MELLOW OUT. TAKE YOUR SHOES AND SOCKS OFF. FIDDLE AROUND INBETWEEN YOUR TOES. NOBODY CARES. ANOTHER GENERAL NOTE WOULD REGARD STYLE AND PRESENTATION. I’VE ALREADY GONE INTO THIS IN THE SYNOPSIS, SO I WON’T DWELL ON IT TOO MUCH HERE, EXCEPT TO UNDERLINE A COUPLE OF THE MORE IMPORTANT POINTS, ONE SUCH POINT WOULD BE OUR TREATMENT OF THE BATMAN AND HIS MYTHOS, INCLUDING THE BATMOBILE, THE BATCAVE AND WHATEVER OTHER ELEMENTS MIGHT FIND THEMSELVES INCLUDED IN THE STORY BEFORE IT’S END. AS I SEE IT, THIS STORY ISN’T SET IN ANY SPECIFIC TIME PERIOD. WE DIDN’T SHOW ANY CALENDARS, OR ANY NEWSPAPERS WITH HEADLINES CLOSE ENOUGH TO READ THE DATE. THE ARCHITECTURE AND THE SETTINGS IN GENERAL THAT WE SEE ARE EITHER OBVIOUSLY OLD AND DATES, AS IN THE CARNIVAL SEQUENCES, OR HAVE AN AMBIGUOUS SORT OF LOOK TO THEM THAT’S BOTH FUTURISTIC AND ANTIQUE AT THE SAME TIME, AS WITH THE FLEISCHER-SUPERMAN/LANG’S METROPOLIS LOOK THAT I SEE OUR VERSION OF GOTHAM CITY AS HAVING, AT LEAST ON IT’S UPPER LEVELS. THE LOWER AND SEEDIER LEVELS OF GOTHAM ARE MORE INCLINED TOWARDS A TERRITORY SOMEWHERE BETWEEN DAVID LYNCH AND THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI, ALL PATCHES OF RUST AND MOULD AND HISSING STEAM AND DAMP, GLISTENING ALLEYWAYS. I IMAGINE THIS STRIP AS HAVING AN OPPRESSIVELY DARK FILM NOIR FEEL TO IT, WITH A LOT OF UNPLEASANTLY TANGIBLE TEXTURES, SUCH AS YOU HABITUALLY
RENDER SO DELIGHTFULLY, TO GIVE THE WHOLE THING A REALLY INTENSE FEELING OF PALPABLE UNEASE AND CRAZYNESS. SINCE I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE USING LARGE AREAS OF BLACK ANYWAY, THEN MIGHT I SUGGEST THAT WE USE THE DARK AND SHADOWY NATURE OF OUR BACKDROPS AND THE BLACKNESS OF THE BATMAN’S COSTUME TO GIVE US AS MANY INTERESTING PRIMARILY-BLACK COMPOSITIONS AS WE CAN GET AWAY WITH? THE FACT THAT THE JOKER IS SUCH A BLEACHED AND BLOODLESS WHITE PLAYS OFF INTERESTINGLY AGAINST THIS, I RECKON, SO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO GO COMPLETELY LOOPY WITH THE QUINK ON THIS ONE. AS FAR AS THE CHARACTERS THEMSELVES GO, I’LL DESCRIBE THEM IN DETAIL WHEN THEY MAKE THEIR APPEARANCES, BUT MY ONLY GENERAL NOTE WOULD BE THAT LIKE THE LANDSCAPE AND THE VARIOUS PROPS, THEY HAVE A SORT OF TIMELESS AND MYTHIC QUALITY TO THEM WHICH DOESN’T FIX THEM FIRMLY IN ANY ONE AGE-RANGE OR TIME-PERIOD. THE JOKER LOOKS EITHER OLD OR BADLY DEPRAVED, BUT THEN HE’S ALWAYS LOOKED THAT WAY. THE BATMAN IS BIG AND GRIM AND OLDER THAN WE ARE, BECAUSE AS I REMEMBER THE BATMAN HE’S ALWAYS BEEN BIGGER AND OLDER THAN I AM AND I’LL FIGHT ANY MAN THAT SAYS DIFFERENT. GIVEN THIS TIMELESS AND MYTHIC QUALITY, IT ALSO STRIKES ME THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN ELEMENTS OF THIS STORY THAT HAVE STRONG OPERATIC ELEMENTS. BOTH THE BATMAN AND THE JOKER HAVE A POWERFUL OPERATIC QUALITY TO THEIR APPEARANCE IN THAT THE JOKER IS AN EXTREME VERSION OF THE HARLEQUIN FIGURE WITH THE BATMAN’S CAPE AND
MASK LOOKING LIKE SOMETHING STRAIGHT OUT OF DIE FLEDERMAUS. I DUNNO WHY I MENTION THIS EXCEPT TO UNDERLINE THE SORT OF GRAND EMOTIONAL INTENSITY I WANT THIS BOOK TO HAVE WITH BOTH THE BATMAN AND THE JOKER BECOMING POWERFUL AND PRECISE SYMBOLIC FIGURES IN A NIGHTMARISH AND ALMOST ABSTRACT LANDSCAPE. ANYWAY, BEFORE I WANDER OFF INTO A COMPLETELY IMPENETRABLE AESTHETIC FOG I SUPPOSE WE OUT TO ROLL OUR SLEEVES UP AND GET STRAIGHT DOWN TO BUSINESS WITHOUT FURTHER ADO.
THIS FIRST PAGE AND A COUPLE OF THE SUBSEQUENT ONES HAVE NINE PANELS APIECE, ALBEIT WITH VERY LITTLE OR NO DIALOGUE TO CLUTTER THEM UP. I WANT THE SILENCE AND THE METRONOME-LIKE VISUAL BEAT THAT THE PANELS WILL HAVE TO CREATE A SENSE OF TENSION AND INTRIGUE AND SUSPENSE WITH WHICH TO DRAG THE READER INTO THE STORY, WHILE STILL LEAVING US ENOUGH ROOM TO SET UP ALL THE NARRATIVE AND ATMOSPHERIC ELEMENTS THAT WE WANT TO ESTABLISH. IN THIS FIRST PANEL, WE HAVE A TIGHT CLOSE UP OF THE SURFACE OF A PUDDLE. (SEE? AND THERE WAS YOU ALL WORRIED THAT I WOULDN’T GIVE YOU ANYTHING FASCINATING TO DRAW.) WE ARE SO CLOSE TO THE PUDDLE AS TO SEE IT ONLY AS AN ALMOST ABSTRACT IMAGE OF WIDENING RIPPLES SPREADING ACROSS A SHADOWY AND BLACK LIQUID SURFACE. IT IS NIGHT TIME, AND THE RIPPLES THAT WE SEE IN THE FOREGROUND ARE CAUSED BY LARGE DROPLETS OF RAIN THAT FALL THROUGH THE FOREGROUND IN DIAGONAL SLASHES. MAYBE WE CAN SEE ONE DROPLET AS ITS PRECISE MOMENT OF IMPACT WITH THE PUDDLE, SO CLOSE ARE WE TO IT. ALTHOUGH I DON’T SUPPOSE THAT THIS INFORMATION WILL MAKE MUCH DIFFERENCE TO THIS CURRENT PANEL, FOR YOUR FUTURE REFERENCE IT IS MID NOVEMBER AND BITTERLY COLD. HERE, ALL WE SEE IS THE RAIN SPLASHING INTO THE PUDDLE AND THE SILVERY WHITE RIPPLES SPREADING OUT ACROSS THE DARKNESS.
No Dialogue.

2.
SAME SHOT, BUT NOW WE PULL BACK MAYBE A FOOT OR MORE SO THAT WE CAN AT LEAST SEE A COUPLE OF THE PUDDLES EDGES, DEFINING IT AS A PUDDLE AND GIVING US SOME SENSE OF ITS LOCATION. THE PUDDLE IS IN FACT SITUATED AT THE BASE OF ONE OF THE STONE PILLARS/GATE-POSTS THAT FRAME THE GATES OF ARKHAM ASYLUM, THESE PILLARS BEING SET INTO A BLACK RAILED FENCE OF WROUGHT IRON BEYOND WHICH ONLY DARK AND SHADOWY CYPRESS TREES, STRIPPED BY AUTUMN, ARE VISIBLE. IN THIS SECOND PANEL, WE CAN’T SEE VERY MUCH OF THIS..JUST THE BASE OF ONE OF THE STONE GATE POSTS AND A LITTLE OF THE ROAD SURFACE IMMEDIATELY OUTSIDE THE ASYLUM GATES, WITH THE SIZEABLE PUDDLE RESTING IN AN INDENTATION THEREOF. THE RAIN IS STILL FALLING AND SPLASHING INTO THE PUDDLE, AND PERHAPS WE SEE AN AUTUMN LEAF BOWLING THROUGH THE PANEL SOMEWHERE. THE REAL POINT OF THIS PANEL IS THAT SUDDENLY, REFLECTED IN THE PUDDLE, WE SEE THE HEADLIGHTS OF A CAR THAT IS APPROACHING THE GATES FROM OFF-PANEL ABOVE. IN THE RIPPLED SURFACE OF THE PUDDLE, EVEN THOUGH THE LIGHTS ARE STILL IDENTIFIABLE AS REFLECTED HEADLIGHTS, THERE IS AN INTERESTING OSCILLATING DISPLAY OF LIQUID LIGHT AND SHADOW PATTERNS.
No Dialogue.

3.
WE PULL BACK STILL FURTHER SO THAT WE CAN SEE MOST OF THE STONE GATE PILLAR, THE BOTTOM OF WHICH WE SAW LAST PANEL, AND SO THAT WE CAN ALSO SEE THE OTHER PILLAR COMING INTO VIEW, UP IN THE RIGHT OF THE FOREGROUND, WE CANNOT SEE THE TOP OF THIS FOREGROUND PILLAR YET, OR THE METAL PLATE AFFIXED TO IT, BUT WE CAN NOW SEE THAT THE STONE PILLARS ARE ARRANGED ON EITHER SIDE OF A WROUGHT IRON GATE ONTO WHICH THE RAIN IS FALLING, DRIPPING MOURNFULLY FROM THE BLACK AND SINISTER IRONWORK. LOOKING BEYOND THE GATE AND ITS PILLARS WE CAN SEE THE RAILED IRON FENCE THAT THE GATE IS SET INTO STRETCHING AWAY TO THE END OF THE ROW, LOOKING BEYOND THE ROW OF RAILINGS AND INTO THE DARKNESS BEYOND WE CAN SEE THE APPROACHING HEADLIGHTS OF A LARGE DARK CAR. THE LIGHTS LOOK LIKE THE SMOULDERING AND WHITE HOT EYES OF SOME INSANELY VICIOUS AND POWERFUL NOCTURNAL PREDATOR, HISSING THROUGH THE RAIN TOWARDS THE ASYLUM GATES. IN THE PUDDLE, WHICH WE
CAN SEE ALL OF NOW, THE HEADLIGHTS OF THE APPROACHING CAR ARE STILL VISIBLE, GETTING BIGGER AS THE CAR APPROACHES.
No Dialogue.

4.
NOW WE’RE PROBABLY ON THE SECOND TIER. IN THIS PANEL WE HAVE PULLED BACK STILL FURTHER FROM THE PUDDLE SO THAT WE CAN SEE ALL OF THE STONE GATE POSTS, INCLUDING THE TOP OF THE ONE RIGHT IN THE RIGHT OF THE FOREGROUND, TO WHICH IS AFFIXED A CLEARLY VISIBLE METAL PLATE ENGRAVED WITH THE WORDS ‘ARKHAM ASYLUM FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE’. THE PLATE LOOKS A LITTLE OLD AND TARNISHED IN PLACES, AND THE RAIN BEATS AGAINST IT MERCILESSLY AS IT FALLS. MOVING CLOSER FROM THE BACKGROUND SINCE LAST PANEL, THE APPROACHING CAR HAS NOW MAYBE COME TO REST JUST OUTSIDE THE ASYLUM GATES, PERHAPS WITH ITS FRONT
NEARSIDE TIRE ROLLING INTO THE PUDDLE AS IT COMES TO A HALT. THE HEADLIGHTS ARE GLARING STRAIGHT AT US, SO THAT ALL WE CAN REALLY SEE BEHIND THEM IS A SHADOWY BULK REPRESENTING THE CAR. EVEN SO, THERE IS SOMETHING ODD ABOUT THE CAR’S DESIGN THAT IS APPARENT EVEN THOUGH WE CAN ONLY SEE THE VAGUEST OUTLINE. THE CAR IS IN FACT THE BATMOBILE, AND IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THE SORT OF TIMELESS EFFECT THAT WE’RE AFTER I FIGURE WE SHOULD DESIGN A BATMOBILE THAT CONJURES THE BEST ELEMENTS OF OUR FAVOURITE VERSIONS. FOR MY PART, I ALWAYS LIKED THE FIFTIES VERSION, WITH THE LONG HOOD TERMINATING IN A BAT-FACED BATTERING RAM. MAYBE YOU COULD COMBINE THE BASIC CHUNKYNESS AND PERIOD CHARM OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITH SOMETHING A BIT MORE SINISTER AND FUTURISTIC.. DRAGGING IN DESIGN ELEMENTS FROM THE ‘EIGHTIES AND ‘NINETIES, FOR EXAMPLE. AS LONG AS IT’S LONG AND BLACK AND DANGEROUS-LOOKING WITH A BIG FIN STICKING UP AT THE BACK THEN I’LL BE CONTENT. ANYWAY, AS I SAID EARLIER, WE CAN’T SEE MUCH MORE OF THE HUGE CAR HERE THAN ITS SHAPE, CROUCHED THREATENINGLY BEHIND ITS HEADLIGHTS AS IT ROLLS TO A STANDSTILL OUTSIDE THE ASYLUM GATES.
No Dialogue.

PAGE 1.
(PANEL) 5.
NOW WE CHANGE ANGLE SO THAT WE ARE STANDING BETWEEN THE BATMOBILE AND THE RAILED FENCE OF THE ASYLUM, WITH THE NOSE OF THE BATMOBILE POINTING AWAY FROM US FROM THE RIGHT OF THE FOREGROUND TOWARDS THE LEFT OF THE BACKGROUND, WHICH IS WHERE WE CAN SEE THE GATES OF THE ASYLUM SITUATED, THE HEADLIGHTS STILL GLITTERING UPON THE LARGE PUDDLE
AT THE BASE OF THE NEAREST PILLAR. OVER IN THE RIGHT OF THE EXTREME FOREGROUND WE CAN SEE A LITTLE OF ONE DOOR OF THE BATMOBILE, INCLUDING THE HANDLE. OVER ON THE LEFT OF THE EXTREME FOREGROUND WE CAN SEE THE SCALLOPED BLACKNESS OF THE BATMAN’S CLOAK HANGING DOWN INTO THE PICTURE AS HE STANDS JUST OFF PANEL TO THE LEFT. WE CAN ALSO SEE ONE OF HIS LONG GREY ARMS, DENSELY MUSCLES, REACHIGN OUT THROUGH THE RAIN TOWARDS THE CAR DOOR, WHERE WE SEE HIS BLACK-FINNED GLOVE JUST PUSHING THE CAR DOOR CLOSED BEHIND HIM AS HE GETS OUT, STANDING BESIDE HIS VEHICLE AND GAZING TOWARDS THE ASYLUM GATES THAT WE HAVE SEEN IN THE BACKGROUND. THE GATS ARE CLOSED, BUT WE CANNOT SEE ANY PADLOCK, SO PRESUMABLY THE GATES HAVE BEEN LEFT OPEN IN ANTICIPATION OF THE BATMAN’S ARRIVAL. PERHAPS WE SEE A COUPLE MORE LEAVES, TUMBLING FORLORNLY THROUGH THE WINDSWEPT NOVEMBER BACKGROUND. IN THE FOREGROUND, THE RAIN RUNS DOWN THE SLEEK AND SHINY BLACK METAL SIDES OF THE BATMOBILE, DRIPPING FROM THE ODDLY-SHAPED WING-MIRRORS.
No Dialogue.

6.
WE ARE NOW ACTUALLY INSIDE THE GROUNDS OF THE ASYLUM, LOOKING DOWN ITS GENTLY CURVING FRONT DRIVEWAY TOWARD THE INSIDE OF THE GATES THAT WE SAW LAST PANEL. THE WET DRIVEWAY CLOSEST TO US IN THE EXTREME FOREGROUND REFLECTS A BLUISH LIGHT CAST BY SOME SOURCE OFF PANEL. LOOKING BEYOND THAT TOWARDS THE GATES, WE SEE THE WEIRD AND UNEARTHLY FIGURE OF THE BATMAN, SILHOUETTED AGAINST THE RAILS OF THE IRON GATE AS HE OPENS IT BY THE LIGHT OF THE STATIONARY BATMOBILE PARKED OFF-PANEL BEHIND HIM. ALL WE SEE OF THE BATMAN HERE AS HE SLIPS SILENTLY THROUGH THE GATE IS HIS SHAPE, WITH NO DETAIL VISIBLE AT ALL. BASICALLY, I DON’T WANT TO GIVE A GOOD CLEAR SHOT OF THE BATMAN’S FACE UNTIL PANEL 4 OF PAGE 5, SO UNTIL THEN WE’LL HAVE TO RUN THROUGH A REPERTOIRE OF TRICK SHOTS AND SHADOWY SCENES WHICH I THINK I HAVE PRETTY WELL WORKED OUT. IN THIS CURRENT PANEL, ALL WE SEE IS HIS UNMISTAKABLE SHAPE AGAINST THE WROUGHT IRON METAL WORK AS HE ENTERS THE GROUNDS OF THE ASYLUM, THE LONG CAPE FLAPPING DISMALLY IN THE NOVEMBER WIND. RAIN STILL FALLS IN SLASHES THROUGH THE FOREGROUND, BOUNCING UP FROM THE SMOOTH ASPHALT OF THE DRIVEWAY.
No Dialogue.

***

The “No dialogue” never fails to make me smile. The barrage of all caps and little format makes this a behemoth of a script. Compared to the other scripts, Moore’s interpretation of a comic script seems to deviate in almost every way, something I believe he was very proud of. The opening panel alone, consisting solely of rain drops hitting the surface of a puddle, is over 1000 words long. That gives you an idea of how overwhelming it can be for those approaching it for the first time, either as those next in the creative process or interested readers like myself.

Something I found utterly fascinating is that this page layout is physically similar to Watchmen in that it is 9 identically sized panels in a 3×3 grid. So on panel 4 he states that they are “probably on the 2nd tier”, a little technical term unique to this script. With that he gives a vague sense of place for the panel (but when you have 9 panels per page you leave the artist with little room to manoeuvre).

Overall it gives the impression this is the script of a tyrant, a perfectionist who knows exactly what he wants and demands it of those who are burdened with the script. Given Moore’s stature, one couldn’t be blamed for thinking it. But this could not be further from the truth. Moore just so happens to combine some of his own personal thoughts into the panel description of the opening frame. One part in particular encapsulates what Moore was really like (I think, I have never had the pleasure of meeting the legend but you can tell the measure of a person by how they treat their artist! So when I asked Dave Gibbons who worked with Moore on Watchmen, he had nothing but praise). I’ve written it out for ease of reading. After discussing the deeper meaning behind stylistic choice for the first panel, he says:

“As with all my visual suggestions, both here and in the panel descriptions below, please don’t feel bound to them in anyway. They’re only meant as workable suggestions, so if you can see a better set of pictures than I can (which is quite likely, all things considered) then please feel free to throw out what I’ve come up with and substitute whatever you feel like. I want you to be as comfortable and unrestricted as possible during the several months of your bitterly brief mortal lifespan that you’ll spend working on this job, so just lay back and mellow out.”

What an absolute star eh? Although not quite as jovial as Gaiman, the intensity of Moore creates a sort of bond you know is genuine. This happens again a few panels later when he discusses the aesthetics of the batmobile stating “as long as it’s long and black and dangerous looking with a big fin sticking up at the back then I’ll be content”

He really does mean what he says. And deep within that oppressive all-caps paragraph of text Moore does tell us everything we need to know about setting, expression and choreography, it’s just he likes to say a lot of things around it. Perhaps that is why this is my favourite script. I often prod fun at it, but deep down even as an reader gaining a glimpse into the relationship between individuals with unique talents who come together as a gestalt, I feel that relationship most reading Moore.

I guess that’s the joy of reading these scripts for me, especially those that follow the style of Moore or Gaiman. I can feel like a welcome onlooker to the creative process I respect so much for some of the comics that inspired me. Like they know I’m there but don’t care.

So to finish off this monster of an article let me conclude by restating that there is no right way to write a script. Don’t get caught up in the aesthetics of a script or the format. It’s about you as the writer deciding what is best for you. If that means a combination of Vaughan’s rigid formatting with numbered dialogue combined with Morrison’s single page script approach written in all caps as Moore does with a personal letter at the start like Gaiman, then go for it. But if it has none of these things, then that’s just as good. What all those writers have despite their stylistic differences is quality. If you have that, then the rest will follow.

Thanks for reading and I hope you learned something or at least assuaged any concerns you have that your script might not be right.

Thanks for reading so far, this article is part of my eBook “The Art of Conversation; Writing Comics and Surviving Kickstarter.” To read many others, you can purchase it here: (Full contents below)

Here is a peek at the contents

1. The Art of Conversation, Depicting dialogue in comics (You can read this for free on my blog)

2. The Art of Conversation Part 2, representing dialogue in comics

3. Black holes disguised as white lines; the power of the comic gutter

4. A Picture is Worth 1000 words – how to write a comic script that your artist can use Part 1

5. A Picture is Worth 1000 words – how to write a comic script that your artist can use Part 2

6. Write to the beat of your own drum – How to pace scenes in a comic

7. Piracy and Indie Comics

8. The Internal and External Drives of a Narrative.

9. The terrifying REAL cost of creating a comic issue

10. Lessons that turned a failed comic Kickstarter into a successful one.

11.No Snakes, Only Ladders: Kickstarter Reward structuring

12.Kickstarter Capitalism: the worth of debut and returning creators

13.Surviving your maiden Kickstarter Part 1 – Failure to prepare is preparing to fail

14.Surviving your maiden Kickstarter Part 2 – The Campaign Trail

15.Surviving your maiden Kickstarter Part 3 – Crossing that finishing line

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